- When Chuck Norris is web surfing websites get the message "Warning: Internet Explorer has deemed this user to be malicious or dangerous. Proceed?".
- All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds.
- Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone.
- Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
- Chuck Norris doesn't need an OS.
- Some kids play Kick the can. Chuck Norris played Kick the keg.
- Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
- Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.
- Chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.
- In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
- Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground
- Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
- The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick. They didn't even come close.
- Chuck Norris' Penis is a third degree blackbelt, and an honorable 32nd-degree mason.
- Chuck Norris does not follow fashion trends, they follow him. But then he turns around and kicks their ass. Nobody follows Chuck Norris.
- The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
- Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.
- Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people.
- One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
- Chuck Norris doesn't use web standards as the web will conform to him.
- Chuck Norris? favourite cut of meat is the roundhouse.
- Chuck Norris uses canvas in IE.