- Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
- Scotty in Star Trek often says "Ye cannae change the laws of physics." This is untrue. Chuck Norris can change the laws of physics. With his fists.
- When J. Robert Oppenheimer said "I am become death, the destroyer Of worlds", He was not referring to the atomic bomb. He was referring to the Chuck Norris halloween costume he was wearing.
- Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
- If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
- Chuck Norris once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way.
- In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.
- They say curiosity killed the cat. This is false. Chuck Norris killed the cat. Every single one of them.
- The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.
- Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground
- No one has ever spoken during review of Chuck Norris' code and lived to tell about it.
- Two wrongs don't make a right. Unless you're Chuck Norris. Then two wrongs make a roundhouse kick to the face.
- Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires.
- The phrase 'break a leg' was originally coined by Chuck Norris's co-stars in Walker, Texas Ranger as a good luck charm, indicating that a broken leg might be the worst extent of their injuries. This never proved to be the case.
- The movie "Delta Force" was extremely hard to make because Chuck had to downplay his abilities. The first few cuts were completely unbelievable.
- Chuck Norris' programs never exit, they terminate.
- Chuck Norris once one a game of connect four in 3 moves.
- Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.
- Chuck Norris writes code that optimizes itself.
- Chuck Norris can spawn threads that complete before they are started.
- Chuck Norris is the only person who can simultaneously hold and fire FIVE Uzis: One in each hand, one in each foot -- and the 5th one he roundhouse-kicks into the air, so that it sprays bullets.
- Chuck Norris can access private methods.
- Mr. T pities the fool. Chuck Norris rips the fool's head off.
- Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way.
- Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick).