- The Drummer for Def Leppard's only got one arm. Chuck Norris needed a back scratcher.
- Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse-kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
- There?s an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris.... Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first.
- Product Owners never argue with Chuck Norris after he demonstrates the DropKick feature.
- There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.
- Chuck Norris insists on strongly-typed programming languages.
- "It works on my machine" always holds true for Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don?t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.
- If you try to kill -9 Chuck Norris's programs, it backfires.
- A man once claimed Chuck Norris kicked his ass twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false - no one could survive it the first time.
- Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.
- When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them.
- Chuck Norris can be unlocked on the hardest level of Tekken. But only Chuck Norris is skilled enough to unlock himself. Then he roundhouse kicks the Playstation back to Japan.
- The only sure things are Death and Taxes?and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
- Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
- When in a bar, you can order a drink called a "Chuck Norris". It is also known as a "Bloody Mary", if your name happens to be Mary.
- Chuck Norris doesn't step on toes. Chuck Norris steps on necks.
- Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.
- Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
- Bill Gates thinks he's Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris actually laughed. Once.
- Chuck Norris kills anyone that asks: "Do you want fries with that?". Because by now everyone should know that Chuck doesn't want fries with anything. Ever.
- For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
- Who let the dogs out? Chuck Norris let the dogs out... and then roundhouse kicked them through an Oldsmobile.
- TNT was originally developed by Chuck Norris to cure indigestion.